it's been a fun but painful day. good lunch at seoul garden with 2 brothers. a new crumpler bag.

but yet i'm still filled with the same sadness that greeted me with each day 8months back.

what you are telling me now. were the same exact words the girl i loved at the start of this year told me. and i'm sure you know it because i told you everything that happened.

you said you wouldn't hurt me, you said you didn't want to. but in the end you did. the attitude you gave me showed how much you really think about my feelings. you don't care about how hurt i feel whenever you give me the silent treatment.

the wounds, even though closing, seemed fresh, has been opened again. by your words.

if you really do love me for who i am. then do so. everyone has their own past. even you. can't you accept my past? i told you everything because i trusted you could accept me and my past.

is this how my 2006 will end? in sorrow and pain. this year has been a painful year for me which involved love. my mother was right again. her predictions seem absurd whenever she tell me about my year. but i guess she was right again. guess 2007 i better start believing.

no more will i open. no more will i say of my past. no more no more. i'm scared, afraid of everything you will throw back at me again. no more. because i'd rather lie than lose you. but is it really better this way?

you said you weren't like other girls. you said you were different. i believed. but for what? i believed you so much. but now you take everything away with just a few words. everything.

sometimes i wished i hadn't dream of us last night. everytime i dream of something bad about someone i love, the next i lose the person that i care most. is it really my ability? or is it just coincidental? it's scary thinking of the fact how many times it has proven me right. it's scary.

i can only sense the disappointment the last guy who left you for another girl. i'm feeling the same equal disappointment. everything you said. seems like a lie to me. of us being together, of you never leaving me, of you never hurting me. it really is just a big dream and lie to me now. the wounds leaves me to bleed and die, alone.

i don't know what's gonna happen to us now. i don't know if i should stay, or should i go? but 1 thing i know for sure is. i will wait, if you'd still want me by your side. and when you do. i'll stand by you. i love you...

but if you don't want me to. i'll leave you. never to speak again. leaving you as a sweet memory in my mind. never to happen... ever again...

will you leave me? i'm afraid you would...

My Sweet Words of Sorrow

My nights were spent in sweet surrender when you were here,
my days seemed like minutes while you passed,
my life seemed;
short when you never left.

My sweet words, i pray; blow to you,
with each passing wind, that i pray by God,
goes to you with all my love.
Do you see the stars of night that flickers with each moment,
I wish I was like that star that shines the brightest;
for you.

Now we've come to this;
your words, leaves me to bleed;
and die, alone.
Can time still turn back?
Can you still accept me and my past?
Will you still love me?
Will you still want me by your side?

I love you, my sweet surrender;
everything I feared, I surrendered to you;
the times you gave to me, the sweetest,
the times we talked, my best.

All I can do now, is just pray for you,
and all I can wish for;
is only you.
I love you...